As a true blue Libran, I have been constantly plagued with bouts of severe decision paralysis. And these situations involve, not life-changing decisions that need to be made, but normal, everyday stuff like picking a shirt (even if it's the same crappy set I choose from every week) or choosing between chocolate cake or ice cream (which sometimes invariably end up together in the same bowl).
When I am blessed with a lucid mind (which doesn't happen very often as of late), I can take [almost] any situation and be able to see both sides clearly. This trait can also come as a hindrance for me as I see both sides, it would sometimes be difficult for me to pick one, make a choice or take a side. This is where the predicament arises: decision paralysis at its best [or worst, depending on the situation].
There have been a number of thoughts that I have been pondering on and I haven't actually gotten any nearer a conclusion. I'd like to share them with you and I'd appreciate hearing what your opinions are regarding them:
1. On loving half-way and loving with all your heart and soul.
A few people have said to me that you shouldn't love too much as to leave yourself with nothing. "Magtitira ka para sa sarili mo." If this is the case, one would be loving someone only half-way (or not wholeheartedly) and not with one's very existence. Isn't it true that, for you to be able to say that you love someone, one must be able to love him/her with your heart and soul? "Hindi ba kapag nagmahal ka, dapat lahat-lahat, buong-buo ng pagkatao mo ibibigay mo para maramdaman ng taong minamahal mo na siya ay minamahal mo ng lubusan?"
2. Fighting for love and letting go.
When would you know that you should fight for love? Would you fight for love against all odds? Would you be steadfast even if the one you love isn't sure if the both of you should go on? Does it hold true that when you love someone, you should be ready to face anything and be prepared to overcome obstacles along the way? When would you know that you should let go? Or should you let go? Is letting go tantamount to saying that you are giving up?
3. A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is.
Should a person change for him/her to be accepted by the one he loves? Or should the person learn to accept and live with the shortcomings of his/her love?
I know that for some, the premises I have raised would seem childish and impudent. But let's say for the sake of argument, you had to make a choice, what would you do? Which would you choose?
7 comments:
pa-comment :P
1. On loving half-way and loving with all your heart and soul.
-- imho, it should be loving with all your heart... kse, how can you show to the person how much you love him/her kung half hearted ka... lagi kang may reservation. hindi ba selfishness yun... parang nagiging self-centered ka kasi iniisip mo lagi sarili mo na magtitira ka para sa sarili mo. yung focus mo hati. other people like your partner, friends and family can fill the love that you're giving away naman. or kung walang nagrereciprocate sa mga taong na-mention, God who is ever loving can fill your emptiness.
2. Fighting for love and letting go.
-- ayoko ng magpaka-martyr... hehe! what's the use of fighting for love kung magisa ka lng? yun lng. hehe!
3. A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is.
-- partners should have basis on which is right or wrong... napaguusapan yan. example sa attitude, kung hindi nakakatulong yung attitude na yun in building your relationship and in building up the character of that person, i think pwdeng palitan. but of course it is not an overnight process... kapag sobrang bad tlg... hindi mo nmn kasi masasabi na nagbago yung tao na dating hindi sya ganun kasi yung sa ligawan process and khet steady na kayo dba you cannot or will not show the person who u really are, you're just projecting your good side to please and win the person. so pwdeng nagbago sya on the process or ganun nga tlg sya. but no matter what the situation is, i don't think na may masama kung may babaguhin... it is but natural for us to afraid of "change." it can also be an act of sacrifice kung may babaguhin tyo for our love one... yun eh kung tlgang mali yung attitude natin na yon. kanya-knya kasing prinsipyo yun so dapat pinagkakasunduan. But nonetheless, both party should adjust and meet halfway. pareho dapat nageeffort. :)
ayan magcocomment na ko....
hmmm...
1. on loving half-way and loving with all your heart.
love is selfless..
2. Fighting for love and letting go
fighting for love is okay basta nandun pa rin ung pagmamahalan sa inyong dalawa
pero kung magisa ka na lang na nagmamahal.. let go.. loving is selfless diba... kakasabi ko lang...
3. A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is.
accepting one person for the way he/she is I think mas tama..
pero shempre both of you should help each other to be a better person. depende kasi sa dapat baguhin eh..
I don't think my point of view about Love is on the right track, kaya masmaganda na siguro kung ishashare ko na rin ang points of view ko para malaman ko....
1. On loving half-way and loving with all your heart and soul.
- I don't really believe in loving half way, unless you are in a state of doubt.. if this is the case refer to number 3..
2. Fighting for love and letting go.
- well, imho... :D kung time ang basis.. if you just starting to love the person but he/she doesn't love you back, i think that is the time when you need to let go.. But if you already had a mutual understanding and already built a foundation, I think that is the time when you need to fight..
3. A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is.
- Well actually masmaganda kung gagawin yan parehas.. If you feel your partner is changing for the worse, which is sometimes inevitable, stop and talk a while, enlighten the other party.. pag di gumana... try uli.. pag di pa din then it is time to sacrifice..
Sabi nga ni mama aven to attract the other party you have to impress, show your good side.. Then pag tinanggap nyo ang isa't isa, at hindi pala ganun ung ugaling hinahanap mo then its time you change how you look at it, try to look the good side of his/her difference. It is selfish to stick to your pride and tell your self "It's not my fault/I'm the good guy, he/she should change!". Sacrifice is the ultimate effort... mas magiging effective ung sacrifice pag both parties nageffort.. Pero ung panlalalake/pambababae ibang usapan na un...
(on loving someone half-way and loving with all your heart and soul)
when you love someone, it's only right that you too should love yourself.
one can only love someone wholeheartedly when one loves himself.
never get into a situation where you give all the love you have to someone else 'coz when the
time comes that loving someone would hurt too much, you wouldn't have any strength to pull yourself together.
"OO tama na ibigay mu ng buong buo ung sarili mu pag nagmahal ka pero ndi dun sa point na
pababayaan mu na sarili mu. kase kung d mu mamahalin muna ung sarili mu, anung pagmamahal ung maibbgay mu sakanya db?"
(Fighting for love and letting go)
actually, no one knows when you should fight for love..you would just feel it that it is what
you should do in order to be happy. fighting for love isn't one-sided. both sides should
know their stand in the relationship. why fight for it "kung ikaw lang"? it's true that when you go into
relationships, you should be ready to face the obstacles that may come. even when you love someone,
it doesn't mean that everything would always be perfect. you need obstacles to grow, to learn.
let go when it's all too much to bear. when there's nothing to hold on to. but letting go doesn't mean
you've given up. it's a way to take courage and admit to yourself that it could not be.. that enough is enough.
people have limits you know. it's admitting that it may not be meant to be and accepting the fact
that what you had was long gone.
(A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is)
A person has a choice to change herself/himself for the one he loves only if it will better him/ her. but not to the point
that he will forget who he/ she is. if the person loves you, then he/ she would accept you for who you are.
a common practice of people is that they try to change those people that they love. most often we hear "i thought i could change him".
wrong notion. you shouldn't change the person. you loved them for who they are so why change them.
in order for the relationship to work you should first be able to love them for their short comings
love them for the things that can sometimes irritate you. the good things about them are just icings on your relationships.
"Kung bga sa exam plus points na lang"
-dq lam kung may sense mga sinabi ko:D
On 1. Love with all your heart...dapat naka-todo....mas madaming taya, mas malaki panalo...love begets love kaya sigurado kang panalo!
On 2.fight for love if it is still worth fighting for....kung ayaw na niya, mas ayaw mo na rin!
On 3. Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, kusa kang magbabago, para magpakabuti, para magpakatino, para maging makabuluhan ang inyong samahan...
On 1. Love with all your heart...dapat naka-todo....mas madaming taya, mas malaki panalo...love begets love kaya sigurado kang panalo!
On 2.fight for love if it is still worth fighting for....kung ayaw na niya, mas ayaw mo na rin!
On 3. Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, kusa kang magbabago, para magpakabuti, para maging makabuluhan, para sa sarili mo at sa kanya...
1. On loving half-way and loving with all your heart and soul.
-##- All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are both unhealthy for each partner. These relationships has the tendency to slow down your personal growth and interfere with your happiness. Both types are ironically guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship fear of not being loved, not being good enough, as well as fear of abandonment and failure is the driving force. And for the half-hearted relationship, it is usually associated with the fear of being hurt and becoming vulnerable keeps you from knocking down protective walls and opening your heart.
2. Fighting for love and letting go.
If it's worth fighting for, sure why not.....but, it takes two to tango! If your partner is heading on a complete opposite direction and you know that you've tried hard enough ones or may be twice..... and there's no hint of happy ever after.... then let go.....
3. A person should change for the one he/she loves or a person should accept his/her partner for what he/she is.
Relationship is about compromising. If it's unhealthy for each partner then may be it's time to sit down and talk about what has to be changed, explain the reasons why you want him/her to change such thing. There's no such thing as "i luv him/her for who he/she is" there would always be some little tiny issues, which at the end of the day you'll sometime say..."Hmmmm! Why is he behaving thay way?", well that's behaviour, habits, or what nots???
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